2013 Publications
What, is it that time of year again? Here's my list:


Far, Far From Land, Menial: Skilled Labor In Science Fiction, January 2013 (science fiction short story, printed and e-book, editors Kelly Jennings and Shay Darrach)

A Three Percent Chance He'll Ever Know I Lied, Penumbra Magazine, February 2013. (science fantasy, short story, e-book, http://musapublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=536)
(This story won me the 2013 Speculative Literature Foundation's Older Writers Grant. If you haven't read it, I can send you a copy.)

Cannath's Coins, Every Day Fiction, March 17, 2013, (flash fiction, fantasy, http://www.everydayfiction.com/cannaths-coins-by-jude-marie-green/)

Morning Glories, Perihelion, 10/12/13 (science fiction, short story, http://www.perihelionsf.com/1310/fiction_4.htm)

Far, Far From Land, World Jumping Anthology, Eric Reynolds, Editor, December 2013 (reprint)

So, one flash, 3 short stories, and a reprint. I guess that isn't TERRIBLE. I think "A Three Percent Chance" is the best of the lot, and I truly love "Far, Far From Land," and "Morning Glories" was better before I edited it to a word limit but it's still darned good.

I'm not eligible for the Campbell award... no qualifying sales yet ever. But the Hugo.... I think "Three Percent" should have had better critical notice.

Morning Glories
Flying close to the sun. The word "Perihelion" means: (and I quote)

The perihelion is the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid or comet where it is nearest to the sun.

The word perihelion stems from the Greek words "peri," meaning near, and "helios," meaning the Greek god of the sun.

So I guess that means I'll be flying close to the sun when my story, "MORNING GLORIES," is published by Perihelion Magazine on October 12, 2013!

MORNING GLORIES is about an out-of-control science experiment that goes gloriously right. It's based on something real, real science of flower genetics. And for those of you who've been forced to read my drafts, think "yams."

Perihelion Science Fiction

and stuff
1. Writers of the Future Honorable Mention. Oh well. Next quarter ends June 30. I have a story for it.

2. Two tasks to accomplish this morning and I JUST managed to complete them before the noon hour. Jeez.

3. Write-a-thon, Clarion West, has a donation challenge we're trying to meet. If 300 people sign up, we get extra money. We need about another 50 people to sign up! Do you write? Are you a poet/flash writer/short story artist/novelist? Memoirist? Non fiction author? Ultimately one of your friends will sponsor you, but don't worry about the money now. Just sign up, the rest will happen.


4. Clarion San Diego Write-a-Thon. Same same as above. Join up.

5. Gonna make some muffins. Strawberry muffins. Plum muffins. Because I can.

6. Watching 2nd season of WALKING DEAD (mostly because I haven't gotten the third season dvd set yet.) I love this soap opera! End of the world, zombies, blood and guts, and love affairs :)

I have been watching "The X-Files," and I'm into season 8. I still don't like Doggett but I like him better now than I did back when. He makes Scully seem in need of "helpless female" rescuing in a way that Mulder never did.

Yes, I have the movies. I'm not a huge fan of the movies, but they're part of the story. One of the neat things about watching the series like this, in a marathon, is discovering details that went by too fast before. Mulder is Oxford-educated. Scully had an affair with a married man. Cigarette Man (Cancer Man, The Smoking Man, CGBSpender) was pathetic more than scary, just terribly immoral. Mulder's sister, Samantha, was a red-herring. I love The Lone Gunman now even more than before. And people move on.

Gillian Anderson, btw, is now playing Hannibal Lector's psychiatrist in the tv series, HANNIBAL (which I'm enjoying. Tonight's the season finale.) I'm liking her white-blonde hair. and her precise way of speaking.

7. Off to write.

Write-a-Thon! (Clarion San Diego) Write-a-thon! (Clarion West, Seattle)
It's Write-a-Tthon season and both Clarions are accepting sign ups. Both have deadlines coming up (CW=Saturday June 22, C=Sunday June 23.) And both are still short of their participant goals.

I know that if 300 people join the CW Write-a-thon, there will be matching pledges per writer. That's an awful lot of money!

And the wonderful thing about BOTH these Write-a-Tthons? You don't have to be a Clarion/Clarion West member. You don't have to be a student. You don't have to be a short story writer (calling all poets!) You just have to sign up with a goal and write for 6 weeks. (Helps if you can talk someone into pledging money to your effort, but EVEN THAT is not required.)

Sign up, set a writing goal, get set to write! And help the students in our writing communities.

Clarion Write-a-Thon

Clarion West Write-a-thon

btw, if you want to support ME in specific (with donations,) I'm registered with both of them! Look for Jude-Marie Green.

Not feeling great today. Stayed up way late and the story never did jell. Got up way late and am behind on my projects. Ah well. It's lovely outside. I may take an extended swing through the garden today, use too much water, pluck the tomatoes.

Nothing much going on. I mean, Turkey is falling apart, Brazil's riots are getting out of hand, but news reporters are more interested in Kim Kardashian's new baby and the possible location of Jimmy Hoffa's body. (Hey, 30 years after I die, will people please continue looking for me?)

Speculative Literature Foundation - Older Writers Grant
(it's all about me.)

PO Box 1693
Dubuque, IA 52004-1693

info@speculativeliterature.org - http://www.speculativeliterature.org/

For Immediate Release: June 10, 2013


The Speculative Literature Foundation is pleased to announce that its
tenth annual Older Writers Grant is to be awarded to Jude-Marie
“Kelly” Green. The $750 grant is intended to assist writers who are
fifty years of age or older at the time of the grant application, and
who are just starting to work at a professional level.

Born March 17, 1960, Green is, in her own words, a child of the 60s
who prefers tie-dye and doesn’t wear makeup.

Growing up, she read her brother Steve’s cast-off comic books,
including Doctor Strange and Weird Tales, and her mother’s cast-off
novels, Valley Of The Dolls and The Godfather. Runaway Robot, another
hand-me-down from her brother, was the first science fiction novel she
ever read.

While Green doesn't read science fiction and fantasy exclusively these
days, it’s not surprising that those two genres are, as she puts it,
most likely to delight her.

Writing success for Green has been relatively recent. Though she has
been writing all of her life, she says she only began applying herself
in 2004. Soon after, she sold her first short story to the anthology,
“Say, Why Aren’t We Crying?”. Two years later, she sold her second
short story.

In 2006, Green applied to both Clarion and Clarion West, but was not
accepted. Determined, she applied again to Clarion West in 2010, and
gained acceptance into what she calls a horde of splendid writers.
Green likes to think the Clarion West experience has improved her
writing, and it was there she “rethought everything, from what
constitutes entertainment to why some words are too much for a given
story structure.”

Now, a mother of three children in their 20’s – two who are science
fiction fans – Green writes about women, the intersection of first and
third world living, aliens, technology, romance, and hell. The judges
for the Older Writers Grant appreciated the mix of a lead female
character, technology and romance in her writing. Grant Administrator
Malon Edwards said of Green’s entry, “A Three Percent Chance He’ll
Ever Know I Lied”: “The story is a compelling one, and I was on edge
until the very end. The narrative, heavy with sadness, is spun out
well to get the right amount of emotion. This is a well written,
high-quality piece of fiction.”

Honorable Mentions for the Older Writers Grant go to Lynne MacLean,
Janice Croom, Lise Brody, John Walters, and Ina Claire Gabler, who
made the selection of the winner a very competitive but enjoyable

The Speculative Literature Foundation is a volunteer-run, non-profit
organization dedicated to promoting the interests of readers, writers,
editors and publishers in the speculative literature community.

"Speculative literature" is a catch-all term meant to inclusively span
the breadth of fantastic literature, encompassing literature ranging
from hard and soft science fiction to epic fantasy to ghost stories to
folk and fairy tales to slipstream to magical realism to modern
mythmaking–any literature containing a fabulist or speculative

More information about the Speculative Literature Foundation is
available from its web site (http://www.speculativeliterature.org/) or
by writing to info@speculativeliterature.org.

This is a nice place. I should visit more often.
I've kinda migrated to facebook, out of laziness or ennui or what have you. But I've always liked LiveJournal. Mebbe I should be here more often.

I'm writing again.

The Next Big Thing
Reposted from Wordpress.

The Next Big Thing

By judemarie on December 28, 2012 | Leave a Comment | Edit

Boy that sounds very full of myself, doesn’t it? Perhaps it refers to the meme cycle itself, a wonderful blog roll of the best writers you’ve never heard of (or maybe you have.)

I was tagged by the most fabulously talented Sandra Odell, Clarion West 2010 classmate and awesome author, to be part of this. Let me to tell you about my current work-in-progress.

1) What is the working title of your book?
The current working title is STREET SIGNS. It’s also been called “Lady California,” “Venice is Burning,” and “that f&cking book.”

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?
My dear Jim often quizzed me about California and he was especially fond of the name “Alondra.” My internet searches turned up a fascinating and gawd-awful novel (satirized by Cervantes, even) about a group of Amazons “rescued” by a conquistador who fell in love with their leader, Lady California, and brought her and her Amazons to Spain to fight the Moors.

3) What genre does your book fall under?
Genre? Shall I be defined by genre?? I laugh in the face of your “genre” labels! (Trans. “I have no idea.”)

4) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
Whoopie Goldberg as Lady Califa. Her niece, Alondra, should be played by Dakota Fanning. And the love interest has to be Russell Crowe. Or maybe Aaron Eckhard. Whoever could pull off the better werewolf.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
She thought she’d saved the world in 1503. 500 years, an ocean and a continent away, she has to do it again.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
It’ll probably end up in a drawer somewhere, after touring the best novel slush piles.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
Time will tell.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches and Jim Butcher’s Dresden books.

9) Who or What inspired you to write this book?
Jim and Don Quixote. And a funny house in Venice, California, which is covered with bronze statuettes.

10) What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
What: Amazons, animate bronze statues, animate street signs, Whoopi Goldberg, and werewolves aren’t enough?
Are talents nature or nurture? How do you decide what’s evil and what is not? And when is it right to intervene?

I’m hoping that these wonderful authors will participate by posting answers to THE NEXT BIG THING by next Thursday January 3:

writerknv Kim Vandervort

tinaconnolly Tina Connolly

alaneer Sophy Zs Adani

Brian Rathbone

You Must Be This Tall To Ride
Let's talk about condoms.

It is important to recognize that latex condoms for men are a well-made medical device that laboratory studies have shown to provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens. FDA has oversight responsibility to ensure that condoms are manufactured properly, and manufacturers - in turn - follow quality system regulations, including design controls, to ensure that their products do what they are intended to do: protect against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

So far so good. I like the idea of condoms being regulated in that who wants a malfunctioning condom??

So I have always been wholeheartedly behind the idea of making condoms available to ANYONE who needs them. Use 'em for balloons, cover the end of your rifle before swamp forays, and hey why aren't they sold in women's restrooms at the bars and clubs?

Even if that anyone is a (precocious) boy experimenting for the first time. (Don't waggle your eyebrows at me. I'm talking the son of a friend's friend. Jeez.) And his penis isn't exactly adult-sized. My first instinct would be to contact Planned Parenthood. Which is what I told my friend.

Planned Parenthood wasn't particularly helpful. Condoms for a kid? No way. Kid that age, just say no. Discourage him. Don't let him! (I am sorely disappointed. I thought PP would understand the necessity of prophylaxis and contraceptive for anyone actively indulging in sex, even when presented along with "Don't do it" messages. But I understand. They've been harmed by certain scam artists lately and are defensive.)

Drug stores carry one-size-fits-all, so that wasn't particularly useful, either. No, seriously, drug stores carry various and glorious variety of sensations, ribbing, flavors, colors, but size is fairly static. Size is large. Or, as a certain email reassured me, "condoms regularly available are at least 8” long with nominal width 49-56mm." Length? You can roll up the damned thing. Width is an issue. The kid is apparently too slim.

The internet was my third suggestion. And there we hit bingo! TheyFit in the United Kingdom ... http://www.theyfit.co.uk/ Condoms in 95 sizes! A veritible smorgasbord! Yay! Actual instructions for measuring your penis length and width. Yay!

My friend acquired measurements and placed an order.

The confirmation email assumed it was shipping to Sweden. When the friend sent a clarifying email to TheyFit, he got this email back in return:

Thank you for contacting TheyFit.

Condoms are regulated medical devices and as such require regulatory approval for each country or region they are sold in. Currently TheyFit have clearance for sale in all 27 European countries, to nearly 500,000,000 people.

We are working hard on regulatory approval for sales into the US (approval is given by the FDA) and encourage US citizens to sign up here http://www.theyfit.co.uk/pages/country-availability-form to receive updates on the situation.

There are simply no similar products currently available in the United States – the E33 has a nominal width of 41mm and length of around 4.5” – the FDA rules on the other hand insist that all US condoms are at least 6.8” long and must have nominal width 47-57mm (until 2008 it was 50-54mm). In reality those condoms regularly available are at least 8” long with nominal width 49-56mm.

I am sorry for any confusion caused. I have cancelled your order, refunded your money and added you to our notification list to receive news of TheyFit’s US clearance which we hope will happen in 2013.

Kind Regards,
TheyFit Customer Services

Condoms are medical devices?

Check the blockquote from above. I copied it from an FDA report regarding labelling of condoms. Apparently condoms were first classified as Category II Medical Devices in 1976 when a lot of things were categorized.

But I've been unable to uncover the sizing rationale.
This leads to some jokes:
President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "my people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.
"I do need your help," said Yeltsin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Clinton.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Yeltsin.
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.
"No problem," replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor....you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one.

for lots of easy-to-understand info about condoms, with diagrams and links.

If you're having sex, use condoms. If you happen to have a small wanker, tough.

(I've enjoyed relations with men with small equipment... the condom situation was uneasy.)

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