saycestsay

Nothing much going on. I mean, Turkey is falling apart, Brazil's riots are getting out of hand, but news reporters are more interested in Kim Kardashian's new baby and the possible location of Jimmy Hoffa's body. (Hey, 30 years after I die, will people please continue looking for me?)

(it's all about me.)

SPECULATIVE LITERATURE FOUNDATION
PO Box 1693
Dubuque, IA 52004-1693

info@speculativeliterature.org - http://www.speculativeliterature.org/

For Immediate Release: June 10, 2013


SPECULATIVE LITERATURE FOUNDATION ANNOUNCES OLDER WRITERS GRANT WINNER

The Speculative Literature Foundation is pleased to announce that its
tenth annual Older Writers Grant is to be awarded to Jude-Marie
“Kelly” Green. The $750 grant is intended to assist writers who are
fifty years of age or older at the time of the grant application, and
who are just starting to work at a professional level.

Born March 17, 1960, Green is, in her own words, a child of the 60s
who prefers tie-dye and doesn’t wear makeup.

Growing up, she read her brother Steve’s cast-off comic books,
including Doctor Strange and Weird Tales, and her mother’s cast-off
novels, Valley Of The Dolls and The Godfather. Runaway Robot, another
hand-me-down from her brother, was the first science fiction novel she
ever read.

While Green doesn't read science fiction and fantasy exclusively these
days, it’s not surprising that those two genres are, as she puts it,
most likely to delight her.

Writing success for Green has been relatively recent. Though she has
been writing all of her life, she says she only began applying herself
in 2004. Soon after, she sold her first short story to the anthology,
“Say, Why Aren’t We Crying?”. Two years later, she sold her second
short story.

In 2006, Green applied to both Clarion and Clarion West, but was not
accepted. Determined, she applied again to Clarion West in 2010, and
gained acceptance into what she calls a horde of splendid writers.
Green likes to think the Clarion West experience has improved her
writing, and it was there she “rethought everything, from what
constitutes entertainment to why some words are too much for a given
story structure.”

Now, a mother of three children in their 20’s – two who are science
fiction fans – Green writes about women, the intersection of first and
third world living, aliens, technology, romance, and hell. The judges
for the Older Writers Grant appreciated the mix of a lead female
character, technology and romance in her writing. Grant Administrator
Malon Edwards said of Green’s entry, “A Three Percent Chance He’ll
Ever Know I Lied”: “The story is a compelling one, and I was on edge
until the very end. The narrative, heavy with sadness, is spun out
well to get the right amount of emotion. This is a well written,
high-quality piece of fiction.”

Honorable Mentions for the Older Writers Grant go to Lynne MacLean,
Janice Croom, Lise Brody, John Walters, and Ina Claire Gabler, who
made the selection of the winner a very competitive but enjoyable
process.

----------------
The Speculative Literature Foundation is a volunteer-run, non-profit
organization dedicated to promoting the interests of readers, writers,
editors and publishers in the speculative literature community.

"Speculative literature" is a catch-all term meant to inclusively span
the breadth of fantastic literature, encompassing literature ranging
from hard and soft science fiction to epic fantasy to ghost stories to
folk and fairy tales to slipstream to magical realism to modern
mythmaking–any literature containing a fabulist or speculative
element.

More information about the Speculative Literature Foundation is
available from its web site (http://www.speculativeliterature.org/) or
by writing to info@speculativeliterature.org.

I've kinda migrated to facebook, out of laziness or ennui or what have you. But I've always liked LiveJournal. Mebbe I should be here more often.

I'm writing again.

Reposted from Wordpress.

The Next Big Thing

By judemarie on December 28, 2012 | Leave a Comment | Edit

Boy that sounds very full of myself, doesn’t it? Perhaps it refers to the meme cycle itself, a wonderful blog roll of the best writers you’ve never heard of (or maybe you have.)

I was tagged by the most fabulously talented Sandra Odell, Clarion West 2010 classmate and awesome author, to be part of this. Let me to tell you about my current work-in-progress.

1) What is the working title of your book?
The current working title is STREET SIGNS. It’s also been called “Lady California,” “Venice is Burning,” and “that f&cking book.”

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?
My dear Jim often quizzed me about California and he was especially fond of the name “Alondra.” My internet searches turned up a fascinating and gawd-awful novel (satirized by Cervantes, even) about a group of Amazons “rescued” by a conquistador who fell in love with their leader, Lady California, and brought her and her Amazons to Spain to fight the Moors.

3) What genre does your book fall under?
Genre? Shall I be defined by genre?? I laugh in the face of your “genre” labels! (Trans. “I have no idea.”)

4) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
Whoopie Goldberg as Lady Califa. Her niece, Alondra, should be played by Dakota Fanning. And the love interest has to be Russell Crowe. Or maybe Aaron Eckhard. Whoever could pull off the better werewolf.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
She thought she’d saved the world in 1503. 500 years, an ocean and a continent away, she has to do it again.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
It’ll probably end up in a drawer somewhere, after touring the best novel slush piles.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
Time will tell.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches and Jim Butcher’s Dresden books.

9) Who or What inspired you to write this book?
Jim and Don Quixote. And a funny house in Venice, California, which is covered with bronze statuettes.

10) What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
What: Amazons, animate bronze statues, animate street signs, Whoopi Goldberg, and werewolves aren’t enough?
Are talents nature or nurture? How do you decide what’s evil and what is not? And when is it right to intervene?

I’m hoping that these wonderful authors will participate by posting answers to THE NEXT BIG THING by next Thursday January 3:

writerknv Kim Vandervort

tinaconnolly Tina Connolly

alaneer Sophy Zs Adani

Brian Rathbone

Let's talk about condoms.

It is important to recognize that latex condoms for men are a well-made medical device that laboratory studies have shown to provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens. FDA has oversight responsibility to ensure that condoms are manufactured properly, and manufacturers - in turn - follow quality system regulations, including design controls, to ensure that their products do what they are intended to do: protect against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

So far so good. I like the idea of condoms being regulated in that who wants a malfunctioning condom??

So I have always been wholeheartedly behind the idea of making condoms available to ANYONE who needs them. Use 'em for balloons, cover the end of your rifle before swamp forays, and hey why aren't they sold in women's restrooms at the bars and clubs?

Even if that anyone is a (precocious) boy experimenting for the first time. (Don't waggle your eyebrows at me. I'm talking the son of a friend's friend. Jeez.) And his penis isn't exactly adult-sized. My first instinct would be to contact Planned Parenthood. Which is what I told my friend.

Planned Parenthood wasn't particularly helpful. Condoms for a kid? No way. Kid that age, just say no. Discourage him. Don't let him! (I am sorely disappointed. I thought PP would understand the necessity of prophylaxis and contraceptive for anyone actively indulging in sex, even when presented along with "Don't do it" messages. But I understand. They've been harmed by certain scam artists lately and are defensive.)

Drug stores carry one-size-fits-all, so that wasn't particularly useful, either. No, seriously, drug stores carry various and glorious variety of sensations, ribbing, flavors, colors, but size is fairly static. Size is large. Or, as a certain email reassured me, "condoms regularly available are at least 8” long with nominal width 49-56mm." Length? You can roll up the damned thing. Width is an issue. The kid is apparently too slim.

The internet was my third suggestion. And there we hit bingo! TheyFit in the United Kingdom ... http://www.theyfit.co.uk/ Condoms in 95 sizes! A veritible smorgasbord! Yay! Actual instructions for measuring your penis length and width. Yay!

My friend acquired measurements and placed an order.

The confirmation email assumed it was shipping to Sweden. When the friend sent a clarifying email to TheyFit, he got this email back in return:

Thank you for contacting TheyFit.

Condoms are regulated medical devices and as such require regulatory approval for each country or region they are sold in. Currently TheyFit have clearance for sale in all 27 European countries, to nearly 500,000,000 people.

We are working hard on regulatory approval for sales into the US (approval is given by the FDA) and encourage US citizens to sign up here http://www.theyfit.co.uk/pages/country-availability-form to receive updates on the situation.

There are simply no similar products currently available in the United States – the E33 has a nominal width of 41mm and length of around 4.5” – the FDA rules on the other hand insist that all US condoms are at least 6.8” long and must have nominal width 47-57mm (until 2008 it was 50-54mm). In reality those condoms regularly available are at least 8” long with nominal width 49-56mm.

I am sorry for any confusion caused. I have cancelled your order, refunded your money and added you to our notification list to receive news of TheyFit’s US clearance which we hope will happen in 2013.

Kind Regards,
Joanne
TheyFit Customer Services

Condoms are medical devices?

Check the blockquote from above. I copied it from an FDA report regarding labelling of condoms. Apparently condoms were first classified as Category II Medical Devices in 1976 when a lot of things were categorized.
http://www.fda.gov/NewsEvents/Testimony/ucm114794.htm

But I've been unable to uncover the sizing rationale.
This leads to some jokes:

President Boris Yeltsin called Clinton with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "my people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.
"I do need your help," said Yeltsin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Clinton.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Yeltsin.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Yeltsin.
"No problem," replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor....you've got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one.

http://science.howstuffworks.com/innovation/everyday-innovations/condom.htm
for lots of easy-to-understand info about condoms, with diagrams and links.

If you're having sex, use condoms. If you happen to have a small wanker, tough.

(I've enjoyed relations with men with small equipment... the condom situation was uneasy.)

I've updated my wordpress site with information about my recent doings, including the two chapbooks I've produced this month.

Travels Elsewhere is a book of 3 short stories: Slim And Benny-Be-Damned Take It On The Lam, Compass Rose, and Hellbend For Leather.

Quantum Visions is the chapbook filled with stories from my writers group, The Orange County Science Fiction Writers Orbit.

Both can be had for minimal amounts of cash. Call me maybe? (er... email.)

Jude-Marie Green at Wordpress

Tonight there will be a room party on the 17th floor at LosCon in memory of Jim Young: He's dead. Jim.

Also: Release party for the Orange County Science Fiction Writers Orbit chapbook, QUANTUM VISIONS. Jim has a story in it, Spamhead. We plan live readings of the stories.

We have "NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE EARTH" and plan to show it.

If you want to bring something edible to the party, we'd appreciate that too!

Friday night, after the ice cream social until whenever.

Insatiable

The editors of INSATIABLE kindly bought a reprint of my story, ORTHOGONAL TO THE ASTRAL PLANE, for their premier issue.

Orthogonal To The Astral Plane isn't about new age maths, it's about a woman haunted by demon lovers. Starring a handsome guy in a plaid shirt.

The original publication was in Quantum Kiss. The editor there said, "We all know that there's a whole other world on the other side of the dream curtain, right? A surreal place where the true gods and demons dwell? Not to mention passionate love and bitter rivalry.Strap in tight because this story is a wild and fun ride."

My story, SISTERS, is live at The Colored Lens now.

This is a deeply introspective, not at all action adventure type story of two very unsimilar sisters. Sarah has a special gift: she can access the multiverse and call forth her doppelgangers. Her invisible friends not only aren't invisible, they're all, literally, her. Linda, 10 years older, has the burden of responsibility for her sister, the burden of mentorship and failure, and the burden of love.

The Colored Lens editors call this a slipstream story. Oh boy is it ever!

Also, they found some amazing art for this.

In an effort to wake up my brain, I've been taking classes via the internet on Coursera.

I've completed a world music class that wasn't what I expected (more socio-political overview of first people's music, not a "this is what they're doing in India!" class) though the section on Tuvan throat singing was fantastic.

I completed the Science Fiction & Fantasy class where I read a list of novels from Grimms Fairy Tales through Cory Doctorow's Little Brother (exactly one novel on the entire list that I hadn't even heard of before ("Herland.")) The instructor (Professor Eric Rabin) presented wonderful video essays as his lessons. The class rocked!

Currently I'm working through a Modern Poetry class and reading poetry I don't know from names I've heard before. Most wonderful so far is the almost-incomprehensible stuff from "The Baroness" (Elsa von Freytag Loringhoven). Lots of good poetry and instructor videos where he's leading a class at the Kelly Writers House (!) through deconstruction of the poems. The construction is a lot more work than I generally even consider giving to poems and it rewards me with a deeper understanding of my cleverness.

Also ongoing is a logic class (symbolism, not practice) that is somewhat boring. The instructor is teaching from the book and not giving much insight. Still, it's nice to work through the grammar of the logical symbols.

Today the introduction to genetics and the genome class began. So far the instructor videos are fine. This should be fun.

All the classes have embedded quizzes in the videos, separate quizzes for general testing, and written assignments requiring analysis and feedback. I'm rather enjoying this. And signed up for classes through next summer.